"If I Only Had a Brain (The Wizard of Oz)" (1939)
This year's Java nerds are writing code to model 'Complex' numbers and 'Quadratic' functions. We'll post their work here eventually, but meanwhile...
"If I Only Had a Brain" was a song that was fun to parody, thinking of 'Quadratic Functions:'
'If I Only Had a Vertex'
y = f(x) = ax2 + bx + c
Don't think me a fanatic,
But functions when Quadratic
Don't give me a Complex...
I can hardly keep from laugh-n when parabolas I'm a-graphin'
But I sure need a vertex!
Whether 'down-y' or an 'up-y'
I can classify that puppy
I look at 'a' and check:
And I really start a-rolling cuz
I know 'a' is shape-control'n
But I sure need a vertex!
Chorus
Chorus:
The vertex has the y
where down-ies reach their high...
The vertex as you know,
is the place, where up-ies 'low.'
A parabola's spirit's lifted
When it's vertically-a-shifted
Due to the 'c's effects...
And my mind is accept'n
That the 'c's a y-intercept'n
But I sure need a vertex!
Chorus
The problems, I'd applaud 'em
If I knew their top from bottom
I would not feel so vexed
I could use h = -b/(2a)
Plug it in and get a k
I'd know that dumb vertex!
©1997 TTG
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